jess & ryan's stripper bday bash

november 15, 1997

My girlfriend Jess and her roommate Ryan's birthday are only two days apart. So it was decided that we were going to throw a a birthday party for the both of them. This wasn't going to be some lame, freshmen-free-for-all kegger, this was going to be a classy party. Lots of good food and drink (BYOB on the drink of course), and everyone that attended would be required to get dressed up. Now, some of you might be thinking, "That doesn't sound like very much of a party," except for one thing... we got a stripper. Actually, it was Jess' idea. She thought that it would be really funny to have this nice party and then have this woman show up and start getting naked. Ryan and I took the burden upon ourselves to head on over to American Dream Girls and pick out the stripper for the party. (Which is a story in itself because Ryan had never been to a nudy bar and was embarrassed as all hell about going.) So anyway, when we arrived at Dream Girls, we noticed that it was "slim pickins." Most of the girls there weren't exactly walking male fantasies to say the least. So we ended up picking this girl Allie, not because she was the cutest, but because Ryan Pikkel has an Asian Fetish. (Just kidding Ryan.) Actually, we picked Allie because she was the most attractive girl there. Fast forward two days. We're at the party now. Everyone is having fun. DJ Mattymatt is kicking some phat jams, yo. And everyone is anticipating the arrival of the stripper. She shows up and starts dancing in front of Jess. But after about two minutes of that she just walks away from Jess and goes over to Ryan and starts dancing all over him. Only then did things start to get interesting. Allie the Stripper arrives (and we can see my roomate Dzija sitting on the couch blatantly gawking at her. Busted!) At this point I should probably put a little disclaimer. WARINING:The following pictures contain some nudity. If nudity offends you, here is chance to leave. Jess giving the "I've got a half-naked chick on my lap" thumbs up. Here we see that Allie has already left Jess behind and moved on to Ryan (seen here wearing his very special birthday boy hat compliments of Karen Landis.) Ryan wasn't expecting Allie to start dancing for him and was pretty embarassed. He didn't realize at the time how much worse things were going to get. (and neither did we.) So then, she starts taking off some of Ryan's clothes (which caused most of us in the audience to practically wet our pants). First, unbuttoning his jacket and then in one swift move, ripping his shirt off. Allie (seen here cupping Ryan's buttocks) then proceeded to take Ryan on a tour of a little town named "Public Humiliation." Allies smiles at the crowd while Ryan throws up his hands and wonders "How is this happening?" And the audience (i.e.-most of Ryan's friends) watches, some in amazement, others in disgust, as... Allie takes Ryan's pants off leaving him writhing on my floor in front of all of his friends in his Tighty-Whities. Yikes. After all of this, Allie left (as did about half the party because they were traumatized). But anyway, the hardcore friends stuck around and we still had a great time. (largely in part because of Matty who kept the music coming. Thanks Matt.) Kara, Dzija, Some Girl (Kara's friend from Canada), and Mandy shake their rump. Kusum blows a kiss (or does her impression of Mary-Jo Buttafuco, I'm not sure which), and my main-man Vin. Kasum, Jess and myself cut some rug. The man who kept the party going, Mattymatt. (displaying his fat bounty of one dollar bills.)

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