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The Holidays
just wouldn't be the holiday without my wacky family. So I headed out
to tha EnJay to spend some quality time with the three lunatics
otherwise known as my mom, my dad and my brother.
So it's
like two days before Christmas and we're all sitting in the living room
catching up and I look up on top of our Christmas tree and I'm like
"Um Mom, why is there a Klansman on top of our tree?" She's
like, "It's not a Klansman, it's a "White Santa."
This was followed by a silence as we all eyed my mom suspiciously wondering
what else her evil KKKristmas would have in store for us...
We decided to take immediate action - we removed the evil, White-Pride
Santa and replaced it with the giant, light-up lawn gnome I got my brother
for Xmas.
Mission accomplished. My father and my brother pose in front of our
handiwork!
Christmas Eve we drove down to spent some time with my Uncle Walt (who's
a dead-ringer for the actor who played the father in "A Christmas
Story.")..
...and my Aunt Ann.
Here's another pic of my mom and dad included just so you could get
a real good look at dad's festive Christmas tie! Noice!
After visiting with Ann and Walt - we hopped in the car and headed north
for the Battjer's Annual Trip to Church™ (Christmas Eve
services at midnight, baby).
In my family, we buy ourselves what we want for Christmas, and we open
whatever we bought well before Christmas arrives...so on Xmas eve, we
only have a few, smaller gifts to open. Here's Brett holding his bounty
of two books.
I managed to net a much larger fish - check me out holding my fancy
"Learn to Speak Spanish" software that I asked for. (Dad
to me a few weeks later: "So, is the Spanish software working?"
Me: "Yes." My Dad: "En espanol, por favor."
Me: "Si.")
Dad, pictured here doin' what he calls "a little jig,"
shows off the "learn how to not slice when you swing" golf
club we bought him.
Mom and her new putter. Look out Tiger, Mrs. Battjer's on tha up and
up. (Oh, and look at the tree in the background, White Power Santa's
back! But only because the lightbulb inside the light-up lawn
gnome we put on the tree started to melt the plastic needles of our
fake tree and it smelled like burning. A likely story Mom...or shoud
I call you EVA?)
On Christmas Day it was snowing like crazy! We piled in the car and
risked life and limb (literally!) to drive 45 minutes to Clark, NJ to
eat Xmas dinner with my Grandparents and one of my mom's sisters and
her family.
Later on Christmas night, my mom and I went down the street to meet
up with Rachael (my high school sweetheart, aw...) and her little (not-so-little
anymore) sister Casey for some serious sleighriding action.
Check out my mom rocking the toboggan in her aqua snowsuit with hot
magenta boots! (She looks like one of the female supervillans from a
James Bond flick circa '84).
Rachael climbs the hills for another run.
Casey on the Sno-Tube, which proved to be the sled of choice for the
evening.
Casey was lamenting the fact that she wasn't blessed with the same big
boobs that her sister and her mother have - so Rachael started sculpting
giant snowboobs on her.
Rachael and me.
The day after Christmans, Amy and Scott came by my parents house to
visit with the kids. Liam opens a gift from my mom and dad.
Scott and Abbey.
Christmas makes me tired too, Liam.
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