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After an epic night of karaoke, Tuesday morning I woke
up, ran a few errands around the city and then hopped a Jersey-bound
train at Penn Station to head home and hang with the fam for
the holidays.
Tuesday, December 23rd
Here's me walking to the post office in the morning to mail off
my Xmas present to Tara before heading to Penn Station (I heart
my little T-ra so much I even made her neat little custom envelope
for her package. Awww).
Right when I got into Jersey later that night, I got a call from
Kara
Saks (who was home from Canada) and went out to meet them
at a nearby bar. Donna Grodeska, (Dennis
Crowley lookalie) Brian
Brunton, and Kara.
Wednesday, December 24th
Wednesday morning I woke up and my brother pointed out the the
nubby part of my left nipple is shaped like a heart. (I also
pee rainbows and shit unicorns).
What's up best photo of all time? Just as I was about to snap
a pic of the delicious cinnamon buns baking in the oven, my brother,
who loves cinnamon buns more than ANYONE you've ever met, pops
his excited face into view.
Mom and dad getting their breffast on as well.
After polishing off the pan of CR with extreme prejudice (and
extra icing), Brett and I headed to the nearby Rockaway Mall
to do some last minute (read: all of our) Christmas shopping.
Literally ever single male excluding us weighed in at a duece-twenty
(complete with a fake tan). We were tracking this orange hulk
for a few stores trying to get a better picture - but when he
turned around after this pic and gave us the "I'm not sure exactly
what you're up to just yet but I will figure it out and then
rip your arms off" look, we decided we'd better quit while we
were ahead.
Because there's nothing worse than a freshly armless Christmas.
Foodcourt!
On the ride home we were glad to see that they finally installed
a word of warning for any ladies that might be following us back
to our place for a romp.
That evening we all put on our most festivest Christmas
sweaters (check out the bright green v-neck I dug up in my dad's
closet)...
...and packed in the car to go to south Jersey for our annual
Christmas Eve with my great uncle and aunt Walt and Ann (You
know the drill by now, we do it every year (. Here's
the backseat crizzew: me, mom and Brett's girlfriend Amy.
Where every year the kitchen table greets us with no less than
ten different cakes and pies.
The Battjer Treat Hounds.
Present time for Walt and Ann's grandkids.
My fam hung back and worked at destroying the pie and cake table.
And I busied myself taking artsy photos of the little magnetic
ice skating men.
Yay.
My Great Uncle Walt laying down some holiday licks on tha trumpet.
(While Brett just sits bac kand waits his turn...)
Here's Walt with my cute little cousin, uhhh, Whathisname. (Hey,
he's really my second cousin once-removed which technically gives
me another year or two before I'm required to know his name).
He really is cute though. Here he is jumping off a table onto
my mom's lap.
Brett and I with our other Great Uncle: Uncle Bob!
Holy red family photo, Batman.
Note my mom drinking something with alcohol in it....
...which means BLAMO!, she's instantly asleep ten minutes later
on the ride back north. My mom will get drunk from only a sniff
of the barmaid's apron. Hahaha.
After her little nap on the way home, mom was rested enough to
dig up her scary Grand Wizard of the Klu Klux Klan
Santa (which you may remember caused a stir last
year) and returned
him to his wrongful place at the top of our tree.
Talk about a White Christmas.
Present time!
Brett shows off his "Eggnog Steel" sexy face (it's the xmas-themed
variation of "Blue Steel").
Somebody on this site pointed out that my Dad looks just like
Peter, the father from the cartoon "The Family Guy" and now I
can't see a pic of him without thinking about how true that is.
Dad with a doohickey.
Mom with a whatchamacallit.
Brett with a giant, plum button-up shirt.
Thursday, December 25th
For Christmas day, my grandparents and one of my mom's sister's
family (The Carricks) came to our house. Christmas dinner in
the house y'all. When I say "Hey," you say "Ho!" Now when I say
"Je" you say "sus!"
"Now throw your hands in the air and scream!"
Time for more presents! Cousin Chad with an always exciting
envelop (Cizzash!)
Gram, Aunt Elain and Lindsay.
Zoe knew it was almost time for...
...her wrapped treat-present.
Saturday, December 26th
Hahaha. Saturday I stepped outside and caught the Bobsey Twins
smoking.
In almost matching outfits no less (again!)
Saturday night, Emily and I put on our fancy duds and headed
out to enjoy the only worthwhile nightlife in our town...
...Saturday night karaoke at Chi-Chi's Mexican Strip Mall restaurant.
Holla!
You know him, you love him. Ladies and gentleman, put your hizzands
togetha and give a warm welcome to Chi-Chi's Mexican Mall Strip's
very own, Music Man Jo-Jo Russell! (Yo, y'all may remember Jo
Jo from entries like "Thanksgiving
2002," the good news is, his long-promised website is finally
up and running!)
After karaoke, we headed over to the *ahem* Roxbury Diner (which
for as long as we'd known it had always been called the Victoria
Diner before the Hatzimihalis family decided to go all weak on
us and cash out) for some late night burgers...
...complete with Disco Fries (fries with mozeralla cheese and
gravy).
Sunday, December 27th
On Sunday I gave my brother a haircut.
Boo-yah!
And then while down in the basement looking for something, I
discovered a trunk that I had never seen. It turned out
to be filled with my dad's father's (who passed away when I was
ten)
photo albums from when he was a pilot in the South Pacific in
WWII.
Turns
out he
was
a
avid
photographer
that put all of his photos into meticulously arranged, chronological
albums and even wrote smart-ass captions for each pic
in white grease-pencil! They're amazingly similar to THIS WEBSITE.
(Talk about being genetically predisposed....how strange is it
that I would have a hobby so similar to my grandfather's never
having known he did it?). Anyway, I spent the rest of this day
scanning pages from the album and there's going to be a forthcoming
"I Keep A Diary: OLDSCHOOL" edition coming up soon compliments
of Hank J. Battjer.
Monday, December 28th
On Monday we drove down to South Jersey to visit with my dad's
brother Uncle Bruce!
Dad, Brett and Bruce. Right after this picture was taken, Bruce
turned to me and said "Hey, you're not working right now are
you?" Me, "Nope, I'm still looking for an interesting job. Why,
you know of something?" Bruce: "Nope, but I just realized that
I have to go on a business trip and I'm not going to be able
to make it to Aruba to use my timeshare there and it's too late
to cancel. Do you want a free week at a nice resort in Aruba?"
Me: "Ummm, yeah." Bruce: "Cool, if you can find cheap tickets
on short notice, it's all yours." And that's how I ended up in
Aruba during the last ten days of January 2004. (pics coming
soon).
Dinner with the other Battjers! The end!
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