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Through
my job I get invited to lots of parties, but they're mostly "indy"
movie parties. My friend Sarah Lewitinn on the other hand works for
Spin Magazine, so she gets invited to all the "real deal, Holyfield"
parties. So when she called me and asked if I wanted to go to the party
Maverick Records was throwing for "The Matrix: Reloaded,"
(they released the soundtrack) I grabbed the digi and hopped a cab.
I met up with Sarah at Spin's fancy offices.
The party was being held at the Royalton Hotel - we met up with Sarah's
friend Vicki (who has since moved in with my friend Meghan Wicker -
woooo!) and started getting our "money's worth" at the swanky
open bar.
We prowled the crowd on the hunt for some serious celeb action. And
lookie who we saw milling around - that's right, it's Neil Patrick Harris
(aka - Doogie Howser, M.D.)! Booyah!
Me to Vicki and Sarah: "Quick! Pretend like I'm taking a
picture of you two so we can get Doogie in the background." I think
he overheard the word "Doogie" because he started moving around
trying to get out of the way. But we got you Doogie. Oh, we got you.
We were standing at the back of the party, looking to see if we kind
find anyone who could trump the excitement of Doogie and we see Keanu
Reeves was sitting at a table all by himself. So I went over, said hi
to him, started chatting him up telling him how much I loved him in
"Point Break" (too bad you think I'm kidding) and then
I asked if he'd mind having his pic taken. He said "No, not at
all."
Just as he stood up pose with Vicki, his publicist (that blonde lady
you see in the background) rushed over out of nowhere and is like "No!
No photos. Sit down Keanu!"
She then sorta pushed him back down to the table he'd been sitting at,
dragged a chair over, and sat in front of him, guarding him.
Which was really awkward because Keanu was now sitting all alone at
the table, with this lady sitting in front of him with her back to him
so she could glare at us. Which made us feel bad. We didn't mean to
get Keanu in trouble!
So
we just sorta hung out in the area and a few minutes later as the evil
publicist lady was trying to usher him out of the party, he snuck over,
apologized, and said "Quick, she's not looking! Take the pic!"
(So Keanu, if you read this, thanks. Oh, and evil publicist-lady, if
you read this, you can eat a bowl o' dicks! Cause we got the pic! Boo-yah!)
After Doogie and Keanu, I thought that there'd be no where to go but
down. But then I managed to snap this pic of The Sweatiest Armpit Guy
Ever. Suh-weet!
Me popping a bottle of bubbly (check out bass player extraordinaire,
Rob Kemp, of Heavy
Metal Karaoke fame).
Nothing sets the stage for a lil' ear nuzzling like a few bottle of
free champagne. Hoo-ah!
I came back from the fancy men's room and reported that "the urinal
is a big waterfall. And you pee in the waterfall."
Sarah and Vicki didn't believe me so I had no choice but to sneak them
in for a first-hand view.
See? You pee in the waterfall!
One of the alcohol sponsors was Ciroc Vodka. As the party started clearing
out, I noticed that there will still lotsa bottles of it lining the
bar. I asked one of the bartenders if "he thought anyone would
care if a few of them disappeared?" He goes, "I know I wouldn't,"
winked, and turned his back to me. Hehehehe.
Totally shitfaced - we hopped a cab and headed back downtown. We spent
the ride doing what any drunk person does with a camera, making stupid
faces!
Here's a close up of me on Sarah's cam...
...showing the proper way of how to mime "eating a really giant
dick." (See how i'm using my left hand to play with the giant plums?
All you ladies out there take note, aight?).
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