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Ah, summer time in New York City. Here's 98 photos from the lovely month
of June that didn't make it into larger entries.
Thursday, June 3rd
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Somewhere on Thursday night I ran into the
Julia and Nina. Julia had to get up for work and couldn't
stay out late but I managed to drag Nina over to...
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...Sid and Buddy karaoke to meet up with Chris the Greek
and Grant.
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Which was suprisingly empty. Sometimes you want a packed
karaoke joint, but other times less-crowded is better because
it means you get to monopolize the stage.
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And to practive your aerial manuevers.
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And your air guitar.
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Hahahaha. Grant executes a new move.
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Chris on the mic.
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I rocked out so hard I broke the fucking mic stand.
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But it's ok, I just ended up playing it off like all I really
wanted was an Alice Cooperesque cane to point at people with.
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Chris enlightened the lingering audience members by accompanying
Grant's last somg with some "traditional" Greek dance moves.
Sunday, June 6th
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On Sunday morning, I met up with the Tinnz, Karen, Emily
and Sarah at Kate's for brunch.
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J.Lo's on NUMBER THREE but there's only one gal for me. (Awwwww.)
After brunch we went back to Karen's apartment to watch the
entire first season of The Office. Oh, and to play with a
Karen's wigs.
Hahahah. Who?
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We tried a few different camera techiniques but failed to
duplicate the "golden coronosphere" lighting effect around
the edges of the wig.
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Sunday night I went to the Bowery Ballroom and say the Braid
re-union tour (Braid was on of my most favoritest bands in
early college).
Monday, June 7th
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On Monday evening Sarah called me and asked if I wanted to
go with to the nightclub Crobar. When I asked her if she
was out of her mind, she clarified: "No, I'm asking because
Vince Neil (formerly of a small rock outfit called Motley
Crue for those of you who didn't grow up in New Jersey in
the 80s) is playing there tonight and I have to go for work
and interview him after the show." Suddenly,
even Crobar seemed tolerable.
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Vince was supposed to play around 9ish so we got there around
8:30 - which we figured would be just enough time to warm
up with a few free cocktails in the fancy VIP section that
Sarah's rokk credentials scored us.
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Here's Sarah overlooking the unwashed (and please
note that at a Vince Neil concert I'm using that adjective
un-ironically) masses down below.
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We were standing at the top of the backstage stairs next
to a bunch of magazine photographers. Everytime someone would
come up the stairs, they'd all go crazy and take a million
pictures. We didn't recognize any of the "celebrities" they
kept freaking out about so Sarah and I decided we were going
to try to see if we could trick the paparazzi
into
thinking
I
was someone
"picture
worthy." I gave her my fancy-looking camera, went across
the venue and went downstairs using a different set of stairs,
then came back across and came up the "photo opp" steps.
When I got to the top, Sarah screamed my name and started
snapping pictures of my like crazy while I made "Hollywood
faces" like the one you see above. Needless to say, none
of the other photographers even budged.
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A few minutes later we ran into Hal and Jason (and Sarah
cupped her boobie yet again).
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There was something really sad about the fact that Vince
Neil's big comeback show was sponsored by Endurance RX. The
"Daily Sex Performance Booster" for men that's devilvered
in a tasty
chocolate chew. (Which according to their
website "Makes muscle
contractions more forceful by promoting release from the
nerve at the neuromuscular junction." Ew.) This picture was
taken around 10:30 and Vince still hadn't even arrived at
the venue. We went and spoke to the organizers and they told
us he was running a few hours late. Hours? They told us to
try coming back a little after midnight. So to kill time
we went to a nearby dinner and had coffee and pie and ice
cream.
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We got back a little after midnight and Vince had just gone
on. He sounded amazing, but he just didn't look like himself.
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We tried watching the show from the balcony, but it was really
hard to see. We went down to the floor, but ended up staying
in the back because we didn't feel like fighting our way
up through the sweaty mob o' dudes.
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Even using the zoom on my lens, I couldn't believe that it
was really Vince Neil. So when I got the
pictures on my computer, I decided to load them into Photoshop
and do a little investigative work...

...I took the above picture of "Vince" from the show, zoomed
in on his face and then used the "sharpen
focus" tool
and look what I discovered...

Vince Neil is really just Jon Lovitz in a blonde wig.
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Sarah's still trying to come to grips with my disturbing discovery. (Postscript
- All kidding aside, Sarah was there to interview Vince/Jon for her
Spin column...after she waited around for over 5 hours, he left right
after the show and totally skipped out on her interview. (Which led
to her calling him out as a "fat bitch" in
print. Hahahahahah.)
Tuesday, June 8th
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On Tuesday night, I was apparently at Meredith's apartment. This photo
of her Olympia Gyros poster is the only evidence.
Thursday, June 10th
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Thursday night I went to karaoke and found Carol in rare, ultra-fiesty
form.
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There was this dude there who had slathered himself in that awful bronzer
skin dye that makes you look tan. He kept going up to Sid and Buddy
every five minutes and saying stuff like "Yo dudes, am I going to be
up anytime soon? I'm going to be a famous singer someday and it might
be in your best interest to treat me right." He tried that nonsense
for 90 minutes and finally growing discouraged, bribed them with $40
and was instantly put on stage. Hahaha. He started singing some awful
Justin Timberlake song while gyrating and air-humping. This prompted
Carol to bum-rush the stage and sexily unbutton his shirt while he
sang. He thought she was into him, but everytime he looked away from
her, she'd pull faces like this...
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...HAHAHAHAHA. Hooooo-leeeeeeeeee fugging shit. I almost pissed myself.
What's that? You'd like a close up? Yeah, me too.
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So amazing. (PS - Check out the tanner caked into his forehead
creases. Barf.)
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Carol Gonzales, I love you.
Friday, June 11th
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Friday morning I stopped by David and Miye's for coffee (David's in
the background demonstrating his "I'm down wit' black people" hand
gestures. That's "Soooo money!" which is an expression
David told me "the blacks" are keen on saying).
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Later that night I met up with Vin. We walked around town and drank
a few Sparks before heading up towards Union Square to attend...
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...a bday barbeque thrown by the MisShapes kids at Gregg's apartment.
Here's Gregg, Leigh (aka - The Tinny) and Geordan.
Saturday, June 12th
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On Saturday afternoon I went up to max and relax in the Sheep's Meadow
in Central Park with Vin, Grant and the Fatty and we ended up running
into Meredith and
a few of her friends. This is her friend Sari's brand new puppy, Pumpkin.
(Go ahead, say "awwwwwwwwwww." You know you want to.)
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Sari and Pumpkin.
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Vin and (squinty) me.
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Meredith (the pirate). Shortly after this photo was taken, everyone
left except for the Fatty and I. We ended up staying in the park and
playing ultimate frisbee with a bunch of high school kids for over
3 hours. (Which resulted in my being more sore than I've ever been
in my life. I could barely walk for the next three days).
Sunday, June 13th
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On Sunday afternoon, I went to a backyard BBQ and Sarah's place. (Seen
here cheering for boobies).
More evidence of Sparks being consumed.
Monday, June 14th
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I must've gotten into a fight or something late on Sunday night...imagine
my dismay when I woke up Monday morning and realized that I'd been
punched right in the neck. Really badly.
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Remember how Fatty and I played frisbee in the park on Sunday? Well,
we ended up befriending two Italians that were visiting from Milan.
They'd been in town for a few weeks, but were staying in Astoria and
told us that they'd been disappointed with the NYC nightlife they'd
seen. I gave them my cell number and assured them I'd take them out
and show them a good time. So on Monday night we met up and I took
them on the rounds. We started off with a few drinks at the Fish.
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And then late night headed over to the basement at Lit to find a full-on
dance party in effect.
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Here's Gianguido (yep, that's really his name!) making with a lovely
lady from London that he met.
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Later on that night we met up with the Tins and her roommate Jessica.
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Even a broken arm wasn't going to get in the way of giving NYC on a
Monday the thumbs up. Shortly after 4am, the boys returned to Queens
with smiles.
Tuesday, June 15th
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On Tuesday night I went to somebody's (I have no idea who!) birthday
party down in the basement of Number One Chinese.
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Me and Tins.
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Leigh and Crazy Amber (looking decidedly un-crazy in this photo).
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Well, ok. That's a little better.
Wednesday, June 16th
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Late Wednesday night I was being a hermit and staying at home (working
on this site, actually) when I got a call from Grant. "I'm around the
corner from your place on Elizabeth and Canal. Come here now. Bring
your camera."
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I got there to find a fire hydrant open full-blast gushing water all
over Canal Street.
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Rachel and Grant were trying to get close to the hydrant, but the pressure
was so great neither of them managed to within 20 feet before being
knocked over or pushed back.
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I wish I'd brought a tripod. The street was really dark and I was shooting
with a slow lens and no flash.
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"The water smooshed my face!"
Thursday, June 17th
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Meredith needed to learn HTML for her job so on Thursday evening she
came over and I played teacher for the first of a series of HTML
lessons - skills she's since
begun
using to do her very own photo
diary! (PS - Despite her obvious interest in computers, I'm convinced
it was all a ploy to get in my pants).
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Making the rounds late that night I ran into Lauren and we got to talking
about how much we both loved...
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...asses!
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Rimriffic!
Friday, June 18th
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Friday evening I went uptown to celebrate Bev Chase's birthday!
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Max and Christina (who have since gotten engaged - congrats!)
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Emily and me.
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After dinner the staff surprised Bev with a creme brulee with a giant,
shooting sparkler stuck into it.
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Hahahah. So excited!
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After dessert, Bev taught me how to fold my cloth napkin into a rabbit
hand puppet! Look out high society, here we come!
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After dinner I went back downtown to check out the Fireworks Go Up
record release party at Lit.
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Grant was wearing an orange muscle-T and pointed to the stage while
doing a flex down every chance he got. "Yes, we'll be playing <FLEX> OVER
THERE ON THE STAGE </FLEX> in
a few minutes." Hahaha.
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The show was really good, but Grant got in trouble for jumping
around on stage too much (seriously) and so this was unfortunately
his last show as rhythm guitarist in the band.
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Amanda dissaproves of her bandmates cheating on her.
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Amy White and me.
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Lorelei and Nina.
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Hey, it's Jim! This (fugging) guy and a few of his friends were in
town from all over the place (Toronto, Boston and London if I remember
correctly).
He
read
about
the show on my site and they all decided to swing by and check the
band out! So rad!
JimmyK and Nat.
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Grant flirting with my future wife, Natalie (psst...Natalie, I want
to make babies with you. If you're not interested in that maybe we
could just practice making them. Email if
you ever see this.) Bonus points to Jim for continuing to make the
"get of load of this fugging guy" face. Hahaha.
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JimmyK with Mr & Mrs Battjer.
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When Laura lamented missing out on the orange muscle-tee up close (Grant
was sweaty and changed shirts after the show), he gave her a special
admission ticket...to the GUN SHOW!
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Sunny Dees with yet another of her "this guy's THE ONE!" boyfriends
that each last about six weeks. (This is the one she brought to my
birthday party who got in a fight with the door guy and got his face
stamped. Hahaha. Coming soon!)
Carol, Rachel, Lorelei, Emma and Nina.
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Later on that night outside of Lit, the Tins busied herself making
new friends. (She kept asking this guy to teach her some of his magick
spells).
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And kept asking this dude if she could "play with his staff." Hahaha.
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Hey, it's Mark Holy!
Saturday, June 19th
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On Saturday afternoon we were going to go to the beach but then it
got cloudy. So instead, we just took pictures of my roommate's "beach
hat" that Leigh had planned on borrowing for the day.
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So. Fucking. Tough.
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Then Leigh tried on my rabbit fur hat (which, being a vegan, caused
her to make a face like this). Who's a good sport?
Wednesday, June 30th
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Clodagh and Meghan! These girls live up in Boston and came to NYC to
celebrate Clodagh moving back to Ireland. They emailed me and told
me they were going to be in town, and I met up with them for drinks
at Lit. I love meeting strangers!
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Speaking of strangers, this dude (who I think was from somewhere in
the UK) came over and tried to get on the girls by showing off his
tongue. Impressive, but it got him precisely...nowhere.
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I heart you, June.
(added
on 01.03.2005)
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