Here they are: all the miscellaneous pictures from the month of March
that didn't end up in a larger entry. Ladies and gents, the March
Round Up!
Tuesday,
March 1st
My buddy Adam B. (who's one of the guys that started Heeb Magazine)
is a crazy-ass high-stakes day trader. For a few months he'd been
offering to show me the ropes and help me get started, so after I
finally got back into town after traveling, I took him up on his
offer and went to his day trading office in Union Square for my first
lesson. Fast forward 2 hours later, the market's about to close.
Something crazy happens and I watch Adam lose $40,000 in, ooooh,
about 15 minutes. After the bell sounded and trading stopped, he
turned to me and was like "Well, you win some and lose some." I was
like "Uh, dude, you just lost a lot of money, right?"
He was all
cool and calm like "Yeah, but I'm still up a ton of money for the
year. You gotta take the long view. Some days you're going to lose
a ton of money - you just gotta take the loss and come back the next
day and act normal. As soon as you start acting all crazy and taking
the short view, you're fucked." And that's about when I realized
that "day trader" is not an occupation for me!
Thursday, March 3rd
On Thursday, future-roomie Niki was gracious enough to come up with
present ideas for Meredith's birthday.I ended up getting her some
fancy cutlerly, and cooking classes.
Which I figured she like better than this creepy-ass person-shaped
squishy pillow for sleeping with. Hahah.
Then later that night I met up with Rob, Emma, Nina, Lorelei and a
ton of other people to head over to the Sunburnt Cow to celebrate...
...Emma's birthday! Happy Birthday, Em!
Then afterwards I went over to Happy Ending. Me with SmellsGood BonJersey
and Eric.
I met these two on the street when I overheard their Essex accent and
called them out. (Grant's from Essex so I'm always able to peg that
accent).
Friday, March 4th
On Friday Mer got her presents.
What fun would cooking classes be without a corny chefs hat?
Hahahaha.
Saturday, March 5th
Saturday I went to Misshapes and my camera only came out to capture
Jordan in rare form.
What was so rare, you ask? Well, certainly not his F-117 Stealth Fighter
jumpsuit. Homeboy rocks that all the time.
Was it his "doing the jazzercize air bicycle while laying on the bar"
drunken antics then? Nope, those are pretty much par for the course
too. When I say Geordan was doing something rare I mean that he was...
...well, you know. Hahah.
Old school Misshapes, I miss you.
Sunday, March 6th
On Sunday I headed (the whole two blocks) over to Katz's to meet up
with...
...Alysha and Kerry who were in town visiting from SF!
My stomach feels like ouch!
Wednesday, March 9th
So earlier in the month Adam B. had told me that Heeb Magazine was
going to be holding a karaoke competition at Lit called American Schmidol
and he told me that I needed to come and compete. Here's Josh (who
you may remember from when the Heeb
guys came and rocked when I lived out in SF) acting as emcee opening the ceremonies!
Josh (aka - the only other non-Jew in the room) and Sar.
Here's Sarah tearing things up on the mic.
She had the judges going!
Rina! (posing with my weird moon-face).
In American Schmidol, everyone gets to perform one song. The judges
score everyone and then pick two finalists to return to the stage and
each sing one more song. The winner of the finalists round will be
crowned AMERICAN SCHMIDOL! Any karaoke enthusiast knows there are a
very limited number of jams that are surefire karaoke gold. I wasn't
sure which one to go with. Oh, Darling by The Beatles?
Faith by George Michael? Maybe something from the Pantheon of Jovi?
In the end I decided to take no risks and chose the only nuclear warhead
in the karaoke arsenal: Laura Brannigan's Gloria.
Yes, that's right! Sing along with me, Jews! You can't but help be
charmed by my blonde shikso locks!
Hahaha.
Longest. Arm. Ever.
Josh kicked it!
Grant showed up and came correct with his version of Rick James' Superfreak
(which had me worried. Because if we both ended up in the finals, he
would no doubt pull out I Believe in a Thing Called Love by
The Darkness which, having already used my only nuclear option, I would
have no chance of competing against).
Grant getting his score from the judges.
After much deliberation amongst the judges, it was announced that I
was a finalist!
I decided to go with Skid Row's cautionary ballad, 18 & Life. I
was even lucky enough to score a stageful of interpretive backup dancers.
Sure, that song might be a ballad...
...but it's a ballad with YELLING! WITH A MORAL!
And a heartfelt ending. Why, Ricky? WHY? By the way, Brother
Lawrence was manning my camera for all of this and I'd like to thank him for
taking such great pics.
Somehow, by the grace of Sebastian Bach, I pulled it off!
Prizes included an official certificate proclaiming me winner of the
very first American Schmidol 2005!
And a Heeb shirt!
Hahaha.
Afterwards we went to someplace Sarah was DJing and drank for free.
And ran into Tom Donohue!
And Ochi who I hadn't seen in
three years!
Thursday, March 10th
On Thursday afternoon Grant and I met up for lunch at the Homestyle
Cafe (where we pretty much ate lunch together every single day for
like 2 years when we worked at Nerve.com / Spring Street). He had a
meeting later that week with his friend that's now an editor and Glamour
and I was going to try to help him brainstorm and come up wtih story
ideas he could pitch.
It also gave up a chance to catch up with Miriam! We spent so much
god damn time in this diner that she's practically family.
Hahaha.
Then later on I went over to the Darkroon to attend Sarah's "I'm leaving
Spin Magazine to start my own record
label" Farewell Party!
Sia, Sarah and Lizzie.
At the party Sarah was giving everyone hand-made editions of the very
first EP she released.
Alex Chow getting inappropriate woMAN-handled by HIS BOSS! Ugh, when
is sexual harrassment in the workplace going to end?
Then we all went to the Pink Pony for a big birthday dinner! (Except
I can't remember whose birthday it was...mostly because I am pretty
much a horrible person).
I do, however, remember that Karen ordered the sea food.
Friday, March 11th
On Friday, Mer and I met up with David and Miye for some dinner and
then afterwards headed over to the Sunshine Landmark for the midnight
showing of...
...The Shining!
Sure taking photos of a movie is pretty fucking dorky. But it was so
worth it to capture...
...this!
When we got out of the movie it was snowing and raining at the same
time!
Saturday, March 12th
March 12th! Happy Birthday Brother Brett! Woooooooooo! I met up with
Sarah and Karen for some Mexi-brunch and in honor of my brother's birthday
I decided to get a steak for breakfast. (Brett would've wanted it that
way).
Sarah.
Karen. Ha-ha-hungover! After we finished eating, we decided to head
over to the costume store on 4th Ave so the girls could buy cheerleading
outfits. Later on in the week they were hosting a "Pre-SXSW Pep Rally"
and wanted to make sure they'd be dressed accordingly.
While browsing the costumes we got distracted by the most budget ever
Ali G costume. Complete with Jamie Foxx's little brother
(who clearly has Down's) modeling on the package. Hahaha.
Sunday, March 13th
On Sunday we went to Sway to celebrate Thomas' birthday!
Happy Birthday!
And Sandra and I realized that, in some weird way, we sort of look
like brother and sister.
Hahah.
Tinny trying to hide from Briangina's camera.
Hahaha. Yo, J-Lo's got nothing on my velour-clad cutie.
Jonas and Amy K!
Monday, March 14th
On Monday Grant and I went over to Amanda's so our iPods could hang
out.
Then I went over to the passport agency so I could get a new passport.
(My old one got water-damaged and the laminate was peeling away from
the photo causing me to get pulled aside and questioned pretty much
every time I entered a country).
Yo, check out that hair. Hahaha.
New passport photo.
Later that night I headed over to Sarah and Karen's Pre-SXSW Pep Rally.
Check out the gals in their "TARTS" cheerleading uniforms. Amazing.
The place was fucking packed. Hot Chip and Maximo Park were both playing
warm up shows before leaving to play SXSW later on in the week.
Hot Chip.
Sarah.
Karen.
Josh fashioned himself a nubby lil' pom-pom penis and Karen wasted
no time showing Josh...
...what cheerleaders do best!
Karen and her perpetually orange SparksTongue.
Hahah. Sar, Karen, Jenny, Me and Josh. SXSW, here we come!
Tuesday, March 22nd
On Tuesday, Josh hooked me up with a pass to get into the Red Bull
house at SXSW. (Red Bull spends a ton of money renting out an entire
building in Austin for SXSW. And if you have one of these dog tags,
you and one guest can go into the Red Bull house and enjoy free food,
free booze, email terminals and beds for napping. Insanity!) Thanks,
Josh!
Then later that night I met up with Jessica Kain who was in town on
business from Philly. (I went to high school with Jess!).
We ended up rocking some late night karaoke.
Meredith dueting with a stranger.
Wednesday, March 23rd
Meredith's mom broght her back a souvenir from Cleveland...
...this huge-ass chocolate bar! And the later Wednesday night, a whole
bunch of us headed over to my old apartment on the Bowery becuase...
...Jake (the guy who moved into my old room) had somehow agreed to
let some film production company use the apartment to shoot a gay porno.
WTF? The narrative of the movie called for the porno to be taking place
at "a party" so Jake called up everyone pleading for them to come over
and help it look like a party.
Reunited with my old roomie Victoria!
(Sorry about the new guy, Vic).
Grant rocking Amanda's shades.
With "the party" in full-effect, it was time for the crew to get the
rest of "the set" ready.
Oy, vey! My old bedroom? Scandalous.
The dude in the green shirt was one of the "actors" in the movie (if
you knowwhatimsayin). He spent his pre-scene time getting completely
drunk and telling anyone that would listen that he wasn't gay and was
just in porno for "the money." (...shots, probably).
As further testament to his heterosexuality, he spent a bunch of time
trying to pick Amanda up. (Then he went into my old bedroom and got
ass-reamed).
Meredith, Grant and Victoria.
And randomly, here's a little dog in a parka.
Before any of the assfucking could get underway, some crazy girl (who
was spotted smoking crack earlier in the night) started causing all
sorts of problems and tried to get into a fistfight with a fat, gay
dude. Jake tried to get her to calm down and she FREAKED THE FUCK OUT
ON HIM. Literally, she went out of her mind. After three or four scary
minutes, Jake finally managed to get her and her friends to leave the
party. But as he was closing the door on them downstairs, she snatched
his glasses off his face and ran out into the street. Jake followed
her and when he tried to grab his glasses back from her, she bit his
hand, grabbed the glasses back, broke them in half, threw them into
the street and then ran away laughing.
Jake wearing his other pair of glasses while holding up one half of
his destroyed frames that he retreived from the street.
And check out the purple fucking bite mark! Jesus!
Thursday, March 24th
On Thursday we went to Fatty's house and when he folded up his murphy
bed...
...*GASP!*
Friday, March 25th
On Friday night we met up with Brandon who was in town from Budapest
and went to his friend's party on the LES (Brandon, you may remember,
was the internet stranger who went out of his was to be our gracious
host when Grant, Jake and I were in Berlin and Budapest a few weeks prior.)
Saturday, March 26th
On Saturday Grant, Amanda and I went out to Brooklyn to attend a party
at...
...Rob and Emma's place (Rob not pictured here).
Then afterwards we went to Midtown to check out a new venue that some
promoter Amanda knows wanted Fiasco to play a show at.
The venue was kind of meh, but it did have all these really great paintings
of pretty girls on the wall.
The were awesome.
Afterwards I headed over to Misshapes to meet up with Sarah and Leigh.
After SXSW, pretty much everyone (except me) headed down to the Winter
Music Confernece in Miami and so everyone was showing off their...
...SUNBURN. Hahaha. Sweet manties, Geordon.
Brandon was there!
So was Moshi Moshi Stephen!
And Ellen!
Marjorie caught making out with a stranger.
Ellen has a pigface.
Fatty even showed up trashed out of his mind with a bunch of his co-workers!
One of them passed out on the infamous couch in the back. (The site
of 2004's infamous "Hipster
Jenga") And despite her being one of Fatty's co-workers, rules
are rules. If you pass out in public, it probably means that...
...well, you all know what it means. Wakey, wakey! Welcome to Misshapes!
Sunday, March 27th
On Sunday Meredith and I took the train out to my Aunt and Uncle's
house in Jersey to celebrate Easter with my fam. Here's Gram and my
dad getting the bird ready. (Sure, I know what you're thinking...it's
a steep transition to go from my balls next to some poor drunk girl's
face right to Grandma carving up some delicious turkey to celebrate
the resurrection of Christ, but that's just how
I roll.)
Dad carving up the bird.
Zoe likes turkey.
Meredith felt honored when she received her very first chocolate Easter
bunny from my parents. (I'll be expecting some chocolate geld come
Hannukah, dig?)
Something was wrong the can opener and my dad ended up having an epic
battle against this can of cranberry sauce. Check my brother pointing
at the mangled-ass shape the can was in when Pappi finally managed
to get it open.
Would you care for some cranberry sauce with your metal shrapnel?
Zoe getting a scratching from my dad.
Meredith caught me taking a turkey nap on the couch.
On Sunday night I headed over to the studio to listen to Sascha record
Fiasco.
Monday, March 28th
Rainy Monday. Somehow Sarah managed to talk Merdith and I into seeing
the Ashton Kutcher & Bernie Mac remake of Guess Who's Coming to Dinner.
(Ok, I concede. As much as I'm reluctant to admit it, it was pretty
funny).
Then later that night I went to go see The Walkmen at Irving Plaza.
Yo, guess what? Meredith's a huge fucking nerd.
Tuesday, March 29th
Ludlow St.
On Tuesday night, Grant, Meredith, Jake and I went down to Amanda's
apartment to watch a bunch of movies we'd rented. Meredith fell asleep
and was spared.
Jake however....
...NOT SO LUCKY! Hahaha. (PS - Dear Grant, How do you get your balls
to be so shiny?)
Thursday, March 31st
And on Thursday, Sarah and I rode somewhere in a cab. That is all!
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