thailand: part 2

april 15-19, 2005

Friday, April 15th Friday morning I awoke, had some breakfast, and then headed up to the roof to check out the streets below to see if Songkran madness was still going on (ok, ok, and to reflect on all the ladyboys I'd seen the night before). See that huge ass spire in the background? That's the main support of the Rama VIII bridge and I decided that I was going to spend my day trying to figure out how to cross it. The streets below were practically empty. Could the Songkram celebration really be over? I headed downstairs and a after a few minutes of map-turning, figured out how to make my way from Khao San to the waterfront. Piece of cake! Now I just head to head north. I ran into some neat waterfront embattlements on the way. After walking around for another 90 minutes, I managed to come almost right underneath the bridge (where I found this neato water-taxi map) but was unable to find the foot of the bridge. A shoot of the bridge taken a whole lot closer than from the roof of my hotel. Part of the reason I was having trouble finding the foot of the bridge was because... ...the crowds were back! Yep, after I was out walking around for 90 minutes or so, the streets suddenly became totally mobbed with people again. In the end, it took me over 3 hours to fight my way through literally tens of thousands of water-throwing, mud-smearing Thais to make it back to the hostel. Hahahah. Muddy faced and on the brink of collapsing from heat exhaustion... ...I headed up to the roof to take some more pics of the crowds (can you see how insanely packed all the streets are?), then headed back down to my room for a shower and a nap. After my nap, I headed downstairs and had some dinner. After I finished dinner, I was going to head out into Bangkok and do some more exploring...but right as I was about to get up, they started playing "50 First Dates." Pretty much every hotel/hostel in Thailand plays American movies every night. Part of me felt guilty for wanting to stay in and watch a movie (an Adam Sandler movie at that!) when I was in a foreign country. But considering my other alternative was to go drinking and try to dodge being hit by 50-gallon buckets of water being dumped by moving vehicles, I decided to stop being guilty and enjoy a relaxing night off. I even got some motherfucking chocolate ice cream. Aw, yeah. After the movie, I decided that it was time to head out from Bangkok and go somewhere else. I got out my guidebook and tried to figure out where I should go, but was so overwhelmed with possibilities, I couldn't decide. So I just headed to a travel agent around the corner from the hostel and told myself that I'd go to the place that had the most interesting poster hanging up in the travel agency. When I arrived, the woman working there was on the phone, which gave me plenty of time to check out the posters and decide on a favorite. Here's the winner! When the woman got off the phone, she asked "So, where do you want to go?" I was like, "There." and pointed at the poster. She was like "Ko Tao? You want to go to Ko Tao?" I was like, "It looks nice, sure!" The girl was super nice and explained that in order to get there, I'd have to take a train 500km(!!!) to Surat Thani and then a ferry to Ko Samui, and then a ferry to Ko Tao. I remembered that Claire had told me her and a few friends were going to be in Ko Sumui and told me to meet them there, so I asked the travel agent I could hang out on Ko Samui a few days before going to Ko Tao. She explained that with the exception of the train ticket, everything else wasn't date-specific and I could go at my own pace. The next available train ticket to Surat Thani was on an overnighter leaving the next afternoon. So I booked it, and then headed to bed. Saturday, April 16th I woke up bright and early on Saturday and decdided to do some more exploring before I had to check out and head to the train station to catch my overnight train to Surat Thani. Songkram was FINALLY over. This is what the street below my hotel looks like when not MOBBED. Ronald giving thanks. Sawat de ka! I checked out a few of the Wats (temples) in the Khao San area, got some lunch, hit a few book stores to stock up on books and then checked out of my hotel and headed for... Hualamphong Train Station (yeah, try pronouncing that to your tuk tuk driver on the first try!). I had plenty of time to kill so I relaxed on the floor and read. Then got some dinner. (Thai food is pretty much my favorite so I was so excited to try new things that I was pretty much eating every 3 hours on the nose). And hey, sometimes it's nice to mix new things with old, familiar favorites. (Especially when it's 95 degrees out at night!). An hour or so later, and it was time to board the train. Because the train ride was more than 11 hours long, I decided to book one of the air-conditioned sleeper cars. (That bench you see converts into a two-tiered bunk bed thingy). I shared the room with a guy named Kai from Norway who was traveling with his Thai wife and their baby son who were in the car next to ours. After getting settled in to my little sleeper bed (Kai was exhausted and asked if I minded converting the seats into beds almost as soon as we'd left the train station), I busted out one of the books I purchased earlier in the day: The Beach! I heard about the movie (and new it was about backpacking through Thailand) so I figured it would be a great read while traveling. I love reading books about places I've been to or am traveling through. Needless to say, this one didn't disappoint! In fact, the third chapter was so in sync with what I was presently doing, that I was almost creeped out. Check out the first sentence! EEK! I read for a good three hours, almost finishing the book, before the motion of the train managed to conk me the fuck out! Sunday, April 17th Twelve hours later, I was off the train and on a bus heading to Ban Don pier. The countryside in Surat Thani. (A very bumpy) ninety minutes later, I arrived in Ban Don and hung out half-heartedly napping and reading while waiting for the ferry to show up and take us to Na Thon, the main port on Ko Samui. The Thai travel industry is insane - everything they do, seems counter-intuitive to conveniece or reliability, but every single time I was proven wrong. Like when I boarded the ferry, they took everyone's luggage and just threw it up on the bow in a giant pile and I remember thinking "Great, it's going to be real easy to find my bag in that pile!" But as I was getting off the boat when we landed on Samui almost three hours later, one of the guys simply pointed at my bag (that had been pulled aside). I still have no idea how the system worked, but it did! Arriving at Ko Samui. Until my arrival in Ko Samui, I was convinced that there was no method of transportation in existence more terrifying than a tuk-tuk. Well, that was before I had learned about something called a Songthaew. Songthaew means "two rows" in Thai, and refers to the two bench seats in the back of a modified pick-up truck. A songthaew will not leave a pick up area until he has managed to cram as many people as possible inside the truck, and the after that's full, he will usually wait around to see if there are any locals who want to pay him to stand on that little fucking platform on the back! After he has a "full load," the driver's goal seems to be to drive as fast and as crazy as is necessary in order to clear the bowels of all of the terrrified passengers in the back. I'll bet that "songthaew" is really Thai for "need fresh undies." About 45 scary minutes later, I'd made it from the port to the Chaweng Beach area. I decided to quit while I was ahead (read: alive and with clean drawers) and get off there. After some book consulting, I realized that I'd been dropped smack in the middle of Central Chaweng. I decided to walk north and check out all of the different accommodation options. After spending over an hour walking north and checking out like 15 different places, I decided to go all the way south back to where I started out and check into a place called Charlie's Huts. A lot of the hotels and resorts on Ko Samui were western-style hotels that seemed to be catering to a more upscale clientele (as opposed to the more backpacker-oriented places). In the end, Charlie's Huts seemed like the best value for the money. I ended up scoring a private hut (that had A/C!) right near the water for only 650 Baht (about $17) a night! The hut was acutally pretty awesome. The whole thing was made out of bamboo and wood and a thatched roof. After unpacking I hit the beach, took a swim, and ended up getting a wanging sun-headache. So I came back and took a real, loooooong nap. Thai toad. I walked down to the main drag to find an email cafe to check my mail and see if Claire (who was flying in instead of taking the long-ass, albeit MUCH cheaper train) had arrived yet. It turned out she had and she was staying at the Amari hotel about a mile up the road from where I was. We made plans to meet up for dinner later that night. Fast forward a few hours, and here's me finishing up dinner with Claire and her two good friends Lee (on the left) and Tommy who were in town from Scotland because they were in negotiation with the Thai governement to buy a piece of land on Ko Sumai to develop a resort on! After dinner, we headed to a bar just down the street and accidently stumbled on a performance by WORLD FAMOUS (er, at least Ko Samui famous) Elvis impersonator, Ritchie Newton!!! Check him out in the background! Live and in the flesh! I kept trying to get Lee to buy a CD, Lee kept trying to get us all to drink our drinks faster. Hahaha. Ritchie was there performing cuts from his brand new record, All Due Respect which you can listen to and order online here! (All kidding aside, he was actually pretty fucking awesome.) We finished our drinks and decided to all head up to North Chaweng and check out the bars up there. I hopped on the back of Tommy's moped and off we went! We ended up a bar called The Green Mango where there was... ...an incredibly cover band (you should have heard the two guitar players shred!) doing a medley of songs from the hair-metal 80s and early 90s. We sat there rocking out and singing along... ...and drinking fruity, tropical drinks in EXCESS! After my 4th Malibu & Pinapple I made the decision that I was going to ask the band if they'd let me sing a song. (Hey, if you can't find karaoke, make your own!). I waited until their next break and then approached the singer - she was like, "Sure, talk to the guys and see if you can figure out enough songs that you both know to do a whole set! I'll take a break!" After a quick huddle with the rest of the band, we'd managed to work out a three song set: Bon Jovi's You Give Love a Bad Name, followed by Guns N' Roses Sweet Child O' Mine... working up to a grand finale of Nirvana's Smells Like Teen Spirit. Tommy's action shot of me dismounting the stage. Sweaty (and chinless!) me getting toasted by Lee on my performance. The best part? The band liked it so much they invited me back the next night to sing again! Wooo! After finishing our drinks at the Green Mango, we decided to head out and explore some of the other bars in area. This guy had a bunch of different animals that he'd let people hold and then take their picture and then charge them a few bucks for a copy. Here he is holding a gibbon named....Lisa Gibbon. Hahaha. She was probably the sweetest, neatest creature I've ever gotten to play with. Here's some girl posing with the snake that he also owned. Claire has been coming to Ko Samui for years and knows the guy with all the animals, so whenever he wanted to take a break to socialize, he'd leave Lisa Gibbon with Claire. Look at her sweet, sweet Gibbonny face! And her awesomely weird Gibbonny fingers! Awwww, who's a sleepy lil' gibbon? I wandered around with Lee and Tommy. Drinking and exploring. Claire back at home base. Tommy and the gargantuan woman from Germany who picked him up. Hahah. The place was pretty much like what I'd always imagined Pleasure Island, the place where the bad kids in Pinocchio went, was like. I stayed until the sun came up. Monday, April 18th Despite almost no sleep, I woke up bright and early and walked the 15 feet from my bungalow right to the beach. Hey, if you're going to waste your day napping off a hangover and reading trashy, paperback books - this is the place to do it! Later on in the afternoon, I walked all the way up the beach to meet up with Lee and Marie and the Amari where they were staying and hung out with them by their pool (don't have any pics b/c I didn't bring my camera!). Later that night, we all met back up at the bar where'd we'd seen Ritchie Newton, Elvis Impersonator Extraordinairre, perform. Then we all hopped into a songthaew (which are less terrifying when they're shuttling you around town and don't reach speeds of over 30mph) and decided to head back to North Chaweng to rendez vous with Tommy and a few of his friends at the Green Mango (and hey, don't forget...I had an invitation to sing again that I intended to make good on...Ritchie Newton's Elvis has got nothing on my Jon Bon Jovi! ). While our songthaew, we were being followed by an entire back on Thais on scooters who thought it was funny that I kept taking their picture. Hahaha. Did I mention that the Thais are seriously the nicest people in any country I've ever been to? Claire's picture of me with my cam. When we got to the Green Mango, Judy was up on stage finishing her set. When she was done, she came over to me and wanted to introduce me to the girl who'd be singing next and tell her that she should let me sing a set. I made nice with the new singer and she said she'd call me up after her first set. Lee and Tommy. Tommy eagerly awaiting me to be called up to the stage. Hahaha. Here's the new singer that I'd just been introduced to rocking out on stage. True to her word, after her first set... ...I was summoned to the stage! This time I sang Bon Jovi's Livin' on a Prayer, Motley Crue's Girls, Girls, Girls and Skid Row's 18 & Life (which turned out to be a real Thai crowd pleaser. Who knew??) Me with the nice lady who let me sing after she'd finished her last set for the night. Thanks! After leaving the Green Mango, we continued our repeat of the previous night by heading out into the streets to check out a bunch of different bars. Claire got to hold Lisa Gibbon again! We met up with Lee and Tommy's friend Ian who had just arrived in Ko Samui earlier in the day. Dancing at the disco place! Then I spent like 20 mintues trying to climb one of those ladders that spin games. Long story short: I lost. Repeatedly. I met this wasted British guy who was partying real hard with these two, hot Thai chicks. When the two girls left to get another round of drinks he pulled me close and said "Oi! Mate, you think they're Ladyboys?" I was like "I don't know, they're hard to spot!" and told him about how I'd been duped and smooched after having only been in the country for about an hour. He saw them returning and then said to me, ominously "Well, I guess there's only one way to find out then, right?" Not quite sure what he was implying, I nodded and left my pink-shirted pal alone with his two new friends to let the "discovery process" begin. Marie, Lee, Tommy, Ian and the gang were leaving to head to some houseparty at like 3am - but I decided to pass and head home. On the way out, I ran into a guy named Janosh from Austria who was staying at the same resort as me (with his hot sister). We decided to walk to the beach and then walk south along the water until we hit Charlie's Huts (about 2 or 3 miles down the beach). As we were leaving, we ran into this little Thai kid who was about to show off his kickboxing moves to one of the English kickboxers that was there. Here he is about to launch his attack. Attack! Hahaha. Check him out mid-air doing a spinning kick! And the retalliation.... Nabbed! After walking about a mile down the beach, we ran into Ledina, Janosh's sister, who was sitting on the beach outside of some bar making out with some dude. Here's Janosh re-enacting the kickboxing scene we'd just seen. And here's Janosh pretending he's not uncomfortable about his sister resuming her frenching at the completion of his story. I got up to head home, but Janosh decided he was going to "hang out." Er, ok! Goddnight! You three have fun! On the way home I came across a pack of 6 wild dogs! After first I was a little wary... ...but they turned out to be friendly and after I gave each one of them a thorough scratchin', they decided to keep me company and walk me all the way home to my bungalow! One-eyed pooch! I hung out with the dogs on my porch for a while. Then took a swim and went to bed. G'night, sniffy, friendly dogs! Tuesday, April 19th The next day was pretty much totally uneventful. I hung around the beach at Charlie's all day and only left to head into town to confirm that I could leave on the ferry to Ko Tao the next day. I sat in the shade on the beach and plowed through two entire books and started a third. Most of the bookstores were filled with trade-fiction - perfect for the beach. I ate at a small restaurant on the beach and after the place closed, this straggler showed up to clean the tables. And I made another dog friend. Later that night, I met up with Tommy and we kicked around the Green Mango... ...but I had to get up early to catch my ferry the next morning so after a few drinks, I called it quits, said farewell to Tommy, and headed home!   (added on 11.13.2006)

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