Saturday, August 13th (cont')
After we got back from our hike to the temple, I took the kids through
a bunch of lessons and then we played board games. Here they are learning
how to play Clue.
Here's another awesome example of what Koreans think white people look
like. Hahahah. (Too bad it's pretty much spot-on).
Sunday, August 14th
After Sunday lessons, Andy and I took are classes to the auditorium for
some Teachers VS Students dodgeball (pigu). Check out the kids backing
up in terror as I approach "the line" with the ball.
Every day after lunch, the Korean teachers would take over our classes
for an hour and we American teachers would get a break, which we mostly
used to sneak off to secret "nap rooms" and sleep.
Here's Andy and Mike conked the fuck out. Hahah.
Monday, August 15th
After a full morning of lessons on Monday, our class spent the afternoon
in the auditorium rehearsing our skit for the upcoming talent show.
Then later in the afternoon, it was time to head back to Everland!
The buses dropped us off all the way in the back of the park and we got
to enter the park through the back and get a "backstage" tour of where
they store all the gear for the light parade.
Because Samsung (the sponsor of the camp) owns Everland, we totally got
hooked up with the royal treatment. Like dinner at some fancy tent pavilion
that had a 300 yard-long buffet table!
After dinner, I took my kids and we set out to explore the Everland Zoo!
Chimpanzees.
OMG, a meerkat!!!
They even had a whole pen of kangaroos!
Kangaroo grooming!
Awwww, look at the little joey!
 Then, after camp
later that night, a bunch of us headed to our favorite carnival for beers,
food, and RIDES! Here's Andy, Michael and Dan.
Mike and Misty.
And my good friend, Mr. Bab.
Then it was time for competitive air hockey! (We even managed to score
ourselves a drunk Korean referee! Check him out presiding over the table!)
Dan won!
Then it was time for competitive, synchronized, giant mechanical zebra-riding.
Paul and Dan win again!
So while we were drinking, Andy, Mike, Michael and I were telling everyone
the story about how we got to ride the Buccaneer pirate ship ride for 45
minutes on only three-tickets. All the girls we were with were like "Are
you serious? Then what the hell are we doing sitting here talking about
it?? Let's go!" So off we went! Three tickets later...
...we were about to board her!
Holly and Misty!
Caitlin, Katie and Andy!
It was the same guy operating the ride and he thought it was really funny
that we'd returned AND brought more people. We had the ride all to ourselves
again and he did not disappoint! We rode that shit for like 30 minutes.
Hahaha. Caitlin, Katie and Andy rode on one end...
...and me, Misty and Holly rode on the other. Hahahaha. Every time our
end of the pirate ship would hit its highest point, I'd snap a picture.
Here's my favorite out of all of them.
Hahahah. This is where they ride operator is asking "One more time?" and
Misty's saying "Nooooooo!" Hahahah.
Everybody needed a break from the buccaneer so we decided to buy some fireworks
and shoot them off over the water at each other. Behold! The
mighty Silver Crackling Ball!
Andy cradles his arsenal.
Holly shows off a sparkler.
After our brief firework intermission, we headed BACK to the buccaneer for MORE
pirate ship action! Hahahhaha.
This time, there were actually two people we didn't know on the ride with
us. Little did they know they were in for the RIDE OF THEIR LIVES! Hahaha.
The operator pulled his normal routine and just kept on starting the ride
over. Like ten minutes in, the Korean girl who was on the ride turned green
and was begging him to stop the ride while trying not to throw up in her
boyfriend's lap. The guy finally stopped the ride and after they'd gotten
off, he turned back to us and asked "One more tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiime?"
One more time! One more time! Hahahaha. Caitlin, Katie and I seriously stayed
on for ANOTHER half and hour.
Hahahaha.
Yay, ghetto carnival in the Middle of Nowhere, Korea!
Tuesday, August 16th
The next morning we headed to Everland's drive-thru Safari World!
Lions, and Tigers (not pictured)...
...and Bears! Oh, my!
These bears were so funny. When the bus pulled up and stopped, the bears
all ran into the pond and patiently waited for the driver to start throwing
crackers out the window, which the bear caught with their mouths.
After we'd finished the drive-thru safari, we went to Everland proper and spent
the rest of the day in the park!
Waiting in line for the Congo River ride.
Check out the statues of the scary "brown" natives getting ready
to "chuck
spears" at
the river riders. Yeah, Korea. RACIST much?
At the end of all those rides, they always have a waterfall that one part
of the raft goes under and one person in the raft ends up getting drenched.
This time, it was Jay that got soaked. Sucka.
Jay and I with our kids outside the entrance to the river ride.
After the river ride, we checked out some of Everland's other animal-related
sections. Look! Real toucans!
They even had a whole section of the zoo dedicated to domestic dogs (complete
with dyed toy poodles!).
Check out this sweet shot of Potter, Peter and Eric desperately cloying
for a lick of my ice cream cone. Hahahah. No lick for you!
After the I was finished teasing my kids with ice cream and other treats
they weren't allowed to eat, we decided to check out another of the indoor
animal houses. Awwww! Look at the cute little monkey! If you look closer,
you'll get to see his cute lil'...
...MONKEY PENIS! A-hahahahaha!
After the monkey penis room, we entered a room filled with parakeets!
They had vending machines stocked with birdseed! If you filled
your hand with it, all the birds would fly down from their perches in the
trees and eat right out of your hand!
Check out Paul! Just like Snow White!
It was pretty neato! (And the birds pecking at your palm tickled SO BAD!).
After we finished touring the zoo, all the kids went off with the Korean
teachers for a bit and we American teachers were given the afternoon off
to have fun in the park! Free of our kids, Andy and i headed over to the
Alpine slides to have ourselves a race!
If you're not familiar, an "alpine slide" is where you're given a tiny,
luge-like sled that has four wheels and a hand-brake which you ride down a really
steep hill, or in this case, mountain, on a twisty, windy, chute-like track,
usually made out of fiberglass or stainless steel. Skill is everything! It's
tempting to forego the use the hand-brake, but if you fuck up, you end
up flying off the sled and into the steel tube at 40+ MPH which will completely
strip the skin off of your arms and legs in about, oh, 2.3 seconds. Ow.
Here's Andy tying down his hair ("It'll help reduce wind-drag") as we prepare
to board our sleds.
Almost on deck! (Too bad I totally won the race! Which Andy, in typical
sore loser fashion, tried to blame on his sled. "The wheels on your sled
must've had better ball bearings!").
After the alpine slide, Andy and I met back up with Michael and Mike and
we headed to some haunted house ride that had four laser guns which you
could use to shoot the holographic ghosts.
Then it was time for a lunch break. We couldn't find any bi bim bap so
we went with an old standby.
After lunch I met back up with my kids and we all rode the Eagle Fortress
coaster again.
Waiting for the front.
After the roller coaster, my kids wanted to ride on the PIRATE SHIP RIDE!
Hahaha. (Little did they know that I'd spent almost an hour riding the
smaller, ghetto carnival version only a few hours earlier!).
Lisa and me.
The view of the park from the top of the ride.
My boys.
Peter.
Man, I love me some pirate ship!
Hahahah.
Me and Potter.
The teachers had a rotating schedule of "early days," and after we got
back from the park, it was finally my turn to leave a little early. All
of us who got off early decided to share a cab into the nearest town.
Paul wasted no time and made a beeline for the Sexy Mart.
We spent the next few hours wandering around the open-air markets.
Drinking in public, trying on dope hats...you know, the usual.
When I was walking by this bank, these girls started furiously banging
on the window. When I stopped and looked at them like "WTF?," they all
started miming that they wanted to take my picture (having blonde hair
pretty much makes you an instant celeb in small Korean towns). After they'd
all snapped pics of us, I snapped this one back.
Korean street food snacktime! Dduk-bok-kee and these awesome egg sandwiches
that they sell all over Korea. It's like an omelet made with onions and
Korean vegetables, and then they mix in ketchup, mayo, a tablespoon of
sugar and serve it up on fried bread! I asked the vendor what it was called,
excited to learn a new Korean snack food, and then she told me it was called
"Eggu toastu." Hahah.
Later that night we all met back up and had dinner together.
Mmmmm...bubbly!
After we'd finishing gorging ourselves, we set out to find some nightlife.
I want to share the same place with you, Bob.
While the rest of the group wandered off, Andy, Paul and I decided to take
it easy at some nice, relaxing underground bar we'd found.
We kicked back with a few beers, ate bar snacks...
...and then took pictures of Paul putting said bar snacks up his nose.
Then, while waiting to find a taxi back to our hotel, we scored some McD's
softserve...
...and Paul kissed his guns.
Then back at the hotel, we kidnapped some girl's stuffed koala bear that
she carried around with her everywhere (I don't even remember whose it was) and
took scary, "I'm a ninja holding your bear for ransom" photos. In the
end, she couldn't come up with the scratch so we had to...
...execute him.
Wednesday, August 17th
Wednesday morning we played charades! I wrote up a bunch of cards with
all sorts of things that they kids would have to act out and try to get
their classmates to guess. Peter got "Mahatma Gandhi" and spent the next
two minutes sitting in the lotus position and furiously poking himself
in the center of his forehead trying to indicate that he was Indian. It
was pretty amazing.
After charades, it was time to head back to Caribbean Bay for another water park
adventure! Everyone grab your swim caps!
After my kids left the room, I was able to stop pretending that I liked
wearing a swim cap.
Yay, Caribbean Bay!
After we got back from the water park, it was our group's second turn to
take and early night off. This time we all got into a cab and headed into
the nearby town of Suwon. Here's me with Traci and Sean.
Suwon City is a pretty big town that's apparently very proud of its...
...er, public toilets? Check out this awesome brochure they had in one
of the tourism stands that talks about their awesome, clean and comfortable
public toilets and even has photos of a bunch of them.
Eggu Toastu and Ddok-buk-kee, part two!
After a snack, we hit the main drag and did some exploring.
Live cuttlefish swimming around in a restaurant's tank.
I tried my hand at one of those "grabby claw" machines trying to win this
awesomely-racist rubber statue of a Chinaman (or woman!) sitting
on a toilet that says "Oh! Feel so Good! So Relax!" Sadly, I couldn't manage
to hook it with the claw. (Despite my numerous attempts).
Fancy square pizza?
Look! We even managed to find a Korean love hotel! Korean society is
still really prudish and uptight about sex so they have these fully automated
"love hotels" where you buy your room key out of a vending machine so that
you can rent a room and do your thing without ever having to interact with
an actual human!
This is the elevator that you drive YOUR CAR INTO and it whisks you up
off the street and up to the rooms. Cah-razy.
After we were done exploring we decided to hit the best-named bar ever.
Hahahaha.
Thursday, August 18th
On Thursday the entire camp took a field trip to check out a museum about
the history of Buddhism in Korea.
Before the actual museum, we had the kids break into teams and do a trivia
scavenger hunt through the museum's gardens. Here our class about to start.
Teacher Jay!
Tiny figurines of Buddhist monks.
A stilted pagoda overlooking a lily pond.
Lotuses!
Check out the lotus flower in bloom!
This is what it looks like when the petals fall off (this is the part you
can eat).
After we'd finished with the scavenger hunt in the gardens...
...we went to the museum.
Then later that afternoon, I surprised my kids by renting a (non-Disney)
movie for them to watch. When they saw I'd picked out Dumb & Dumber,
they got so excited they nearly lost their minds. I tried to make it at
least partially educational by covering up the Korean subtitles. Hahah.
Later that night it was time for each of the classes to get up on stage
and perform the skit or routine they'd been practicing for the last few
days.
This group sang a song.
These guys had some sort of skit where they spelled something out.
Friday, August 19th
After Friday morning lessons, I took my kids to the auditorium to play
some games.
Then it was time for Teacher Jay and I to take our kids to Everland again!
Potter and Peter.
This ride ruled. You got on it, strapped your self in, and and it went
round and round really fast while spinning you around head over heels.
FUNsanity.
Me and Andy.
A few rides later and it started pouring and they shut down most of the
good rides. I wandered around with Andy, Paul and...
...Mike D. looking for something fun to do to kill the remaining hour or
so that we had left at the park. We finally ended up finding...
...AN ARCADE! Yep, that'll do.
The rain continued into the night ruining our plans to head into carnival town.
So instead we just ended up going to the hotel bar and getting rip-shit drunk
on Hite (Korean beer) and tequila!
Check out the look of utter dread on Dan's face as he watches the shot
glasses being filled. Hahahaha.
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